December 2009
9 posts
GOT A FINE. TOOK IT BADLY.
Three fines, actually. Two parking, one train fare evasion. $400 worth. When normal people cop a fine they acknowledge their guilt, pay it straight away and get on with their life. I can’t do that, I’m just not a big enough person. If I have to pay up, I’m going to make those miserable loose-skinned Government pricks work for it. So I do nothing. I wait it out. Reminder notices come in the...
HATED A LOLLY-GIVING BARBER
The last hairdresser I ever went to was called Bill’s Hair Artistry. Bill was an absolute dildo. And what kind of plonker calls their barbershop a “Hair Artistry”? He’d wrap toilet paper around your neck (toilet paper! WTF? How budget is that?) and clip on one of those plastic capes, then stand there waving his scissors and an electric trimmer about like he was some kind of hair...
BEEN TO A MEDIUM-PORN HAIR SALON
In Year 10 one of my mates told me about this salon in Chatswood that was staffed exclusively by really hot chicks. I think it was called LeVon or something. It was pretty expensive, but nobody ever complained because the girls that worked there brushed their boobs in your face while they snipped away, and they washed your hair like they were giving your head a hand job. They were little more than...
November 2009
17 posts
BEEN TO A SOFT-PORN ITALIAN BARBER
I used to get my hair cut by this old Italian guy with soft hands that looked like Les Murray. Mum used to take me to him because she, like everyone else at the time, assumed that old Italian guys make great barbers. Well this guy didn’t, he was rubbish. But I liked going there because he kept a bunch of soft porn mags under the waiting room table. I’d sit in the corner waving everyone in front of...
